Please Direct Your Attention to the Center Ring
I’m living in a circus!
I have been for quite some time now. One would think…when my kids left home, things would calm down a bit.
Hahahahahaha……That’s a good one!
Apparently, if you have ever been, or have ever aspired to be, in a circus; You can see the invisible sign in my yard that says: “Welcome…Move on in!”.
We’ve all heard of Murphy’s Laws. However, Only a select few of us, are the reason that most of them were written!
I, have the magnificent privilege, to be one of this elite group of individuals! WOOT!
I’m not even sure I was ever aware of this amazing concession, until a few years ago…when it became very apparent. Until then, I just thought I had loads of luck! (Bad Luck that is!)
Traveling with me has always been an experience….
Any passenger blessed with the honor of riding in my vehicle, is lucky just to have a place to sit. This has been a fact of life, for quite some years, but now it’s worse. I have two dogs, and now my son’s little dog added to the mix. I go very few places without them. (they pout and stop talking to me.) I also have a canary. I take him with me too. Let’s just say…I’m a tiny bit of a control freak, and trust no one. We’ll just leave it at that. So…when I go on a trip, by default, the car is packed to the gills. (And that’s just my fur babies and their possessions.)
Two weeks ago, my husband and I packed up my son’s pickup to take it home to Texas, the traveling circus in tow. At the onset of the trip, Scrap…my son’s little Chaweenie, (We think he’s a mix between a chihuahua and a weenie dog) began to vomit. He’s never been one to get car sick before…but we chalked it up to nerves, with everything that’s happened over the last two months….and after two or three bouts, we decided he surely couldn’t have any contents left in his tummy, and continued on the journey.
We were about to discover the sheer volume a little seven pound dog could expel.
As we went along, frequently, there would be an episode of Scrap trembling and begging to stop. Now, ordinarily this would simply involve pulling the car over, but since we were riding in two vehicles, and my hubby decided this was the right time to take a route I’d never been on, stopping entailed a bit more choreography.
- Find phone….mind you, with three dogs fighting over the prime real estate on my lap and shoulders.
- Find Dave’s number…and let him know…we had to, once more, find a spot off of the highway, to get out.
- Wait for Dave to find said spot…because he was leading this bandwagon.
- Upon exiting the vehicle, there would be a round of vomit…dirrhea….and over again.
- Wait on all three dogs to sniff, and find just the right spot to potty, potty on each others potty, and round them all up again.
- Get all settled back into position, seat belt, lap dance, etc.
This continued every hour, for the first day, of our two-day trip home.
As we pulled into the hotel for the first night…we were exhausted and decided that we would get up and try to find a vet for him in the morning.
A long bath/shower and a good night’s sleep…was gonna feel wonderful!
We climbed into our bed, which normally has the three of the fur babies resting on my foot region…well, two, and scrap under the covers, somewhere in between head and feet. But…he had been sick…if you’ll recall, and apparently was in no mood to snuggle. He had decided to hang at the end of the bed with Molly. (most likely so he could more easily jump down in the event of mass exodus from one end or the other.)
Moose, the youngest of the three had placed herself on the other queen size bed…which by the way, was a total relief to all of us, as she smelled completely atrocious. The night before she had found a dead carcus to immerse herself in. We hadn’t had time to bathe her, as we left around four in the morning. (I don’t do well with tasks that early in the morning.) Let me irradiate that she smelled so dreadful, that no one, (not even my Son’s dog Scrap…who rolls in Poop for a living, and had been oozing some of the nastiest dribble all day), wanted to be next to her…
As I started drifting into much coveted and sought after dreamland…I began hearing a commotion in the bed next to us. I looked over to see Moose had managed to get herself under the covers, between the sheets no less. All I could make out in the dark was a lump circling the bed.
Moose was doing donuts under the covers!
The two pillows at this point were in the floor, and she was having the time of her life, peeling out, scratching, snorting and circling under the sheets. I couldn’t help but get tickled…as I watched this go on for what seemed like an eternity.
My thoughts, as I watched the activity, went to housekeeping.
- What in the world they would think had gone on in that bed.
- What in the world would they think we had brought into the room.
- Would they wonder if someone eaten something dead…and then expelled it into the bed…miraculously without getting the liquid contents onto the sheets.
What…what would housekeeping think? And, why did this matter to me?
These are the thoughts that begin to whirl as I tried, pointlessly, to find slumber.
I finally did reach a dream state, only to be awakened by the sound of very…and I mean VERY lose bowel movements. I can’t even tell you how mortified I was at this point. I was appalled, but exhausted, and I rolled my eyes and thought…“eh, I’ll get that in the morning.” I know, I know, I should be ashamed, but serious sleep deprivation at this point, took over. (Don’t judge). Now, I’d like to say this was a single incident….Sadly, I can’t. This went on… Can I just say….MULTIPLE times throughout the remainder of the night alternating with puking sessions!
The next morning, I let my hubby…who managed miraculously, to sleep through the celebratory dog show, AND the purging, puking and expelling sessions, step out of bed first. (I know, cruel, AGAIN….DON’T JUDGE!!)
This was my demented way of paying him back…for getting sleep.
I knew he’d flip a light on…and I wouldn’t step in, what I was pretty sure, he would!
Yes, I did clean it all up, once I had my first cup of coffee. Please, I’m not even human till then. Oh…and there were seven of these lovely parting gifts for me to collect before leaving, might I add…none of which…were solid..
Bright and early the next morning, we loaded the menagerie into the vehicle…once again the circus was in motion.
As we commenced onward, the exhibition got underway once again. It was too early at this point, for a vet to be open, so we decided to continue driving and stop in the first town we came to, when it got late enough. That town was North Platte, Nebraska. After calling three vets, we found one that could see Scrap right away. She told us she thought it was pancreatitis, and she gave him something to calm his stomach and bowels so that we could get him home to see our vet. Whatever she gave him…seemed to be a miracle cure. From that moment on…even up till now (several weeks later) he’s been great. However I did buy him some special food, and I’ve been careful about what he gets to eat.
Now…fast forward several weeks…Back in Montana.
The weather in Texas has always been a tiny bit mental. So, I’m no stranger to bi-polar episodes in the weather patterns. I’m not, unaware that the winters are more drastic, and longer in Montana…but it’s May for Pete’s sake! This, in my book…is WAY past the beginning of spring…ANYWHERE. Apparently, Mother Nature has a different calendar than I do. On Sunday, it was 70. Rainy…but warm, none the less. I was, a bit surprised at the temperatures…but was happy that spring had indeed arrived here also! (April showers bring May flowers 😀 )
Monday, we woke to 6″ of snow!
Where AM I????!!! And WHY am I in this white winter hell?
After I got over the fact that I was in a cold, dark and snow-covered abiss….I decided it was a good day to read…curled up in the bed. I had just gotten good and settled in, with coffee and my book, when click, all the heaters and lights (except for the battery operated lights) went out. I’m in the pits of the Antartic…with no power…and my phone was dying. If that wasn’t bad enough…I’m sitting in a travel trailer. Now…we have a warm trailer…but with no power…and no sunshine…it didn’t take long for it to start cooling off…and me to get worried about no cell service, and the temperature for my critters. So, I loaded up my bird, and my three dogs…and got in the car.
Yes…the circus was back in the vehicle.
There we sat, three dogs, fighting for supreme position on my legs…and a canary in the back seat, singing to his own music. I gathered some supplies, on my next trip inside the camper for coffee (which I had to warm in a sauce pan on the stove-top…it’s gas)
I sat…crafting in the car, While my online friends, laughed at my expense. lol